Shave the Fluff Off Your Copy
April 2, 2008
Lots of copywriters love fluff. They gravitate toward it instinctively because it sounds good.
Check out this sentence:
“At Acme Pet Supplies, we offer superior customer service to match our outstanding products.”
You might be thinking, “Oooh – that sounds so good! Everyone wants to see that a company has ‘superior customer service.’ Anyone who reads that Acme has ‘outstanding products’ will be persuaded to shop at Acme Pet Supplies, right?” Wrong.
Though it sounds appealing on the surface, that statement is weak. First of all, that sentence could be describing almost any business in any industry. It’s a fluffy generality that could be describing an auto repair shop or a deli.
Secondly, “superior customer service” and “outstanding products” are unsubstantiated claims. Consumers are bombarded by statements like these all the time and tune them out. Instead of padding your copy with fluffy phrases, use solid details to sell your products.
Take another stab at that first sentence:
“Recognized for outstanding customer service by the American Pet Supply Organization, Acme Pet Supply stocks everything pet owners need – from canary food to chew toys.”
No more fluff. Readers are left with a verifiable fact about Acme Pet Supply that proves Acme excels in customer service. Plus, this new version tells readers the most important thing they need to know: they can get all their pet supplies at Acme.
The next time you’re tempted to use an empty phrase, remember that your copy will be stronger if you shave away the fluff and leave only the facts.
